When we let go of self expectations- perspective from a performing musician.

Do you know what is the hardest thing in the world?

It’s to be yourself.

Everything else seems relatively easy!

Do you know why?

Society has placed a whole lot of expectations on us — that we should be one way or another. This starts from our childhood through our parents, teachers... We get rewarded for behaving a certain way and punished if we behave differently. Over time, we learn to cope with these expectations by forming certain behaviourisms. It becomes a prison.

But really, this is a self-imposed prison. We take in these expectations and make them self-expectations.

Playing music in local art market

As someone who plays music in front of people regularly — this has had the biggest impact on me. I have seen how I’m expecting myself to be a certain way — to live up to a standard when I’m performing in front of people. But there were many experiences that had punched holes in these formed beliefs.

For example, I have seen when I make mistakes — sing the wrong lyrics, say the stupidest thing — I had connected with audiences more.

Probably this is because my vulnerability was connecting with them. In other words, they could see how this guy is not so different from them, but just as imperfect as they are. Hence, they could relate.

I remember one time I was waiting to play at an open mic in Goa. Many musicians came and played their songs — some of them were really beautiful, heart-touching, and well-received. But then this guy came on stage and started singing “Lalalaa Lalalala” and whatever lyrics came to his mind. He looked quite stupid. But he was confident in himself.

You know who got the most claps that night?

You guessed it right — it was that guy!

It was his confidence in his vulnerability and freedom to be that, which sent a resonance to the audience.

So nowadays, when I’m playing music or speaking in front of people — there is only one intention I carry with me:

How can I be fully myself there?

This has increasingly made me feel free!

I realized I don’t need to be anything other than just being me!

The paradox is that this freedom helps me to surrender and relax on stage — which, in turn, helps me to ‘perform’ better.

When I let go of trying to impress or be perfect, I become more present. I start to enjoy the moment, the connection, the music — and that energy flows to the audience too.

Does this resonate? What are your experiences ? Comment below.

Vimal 🙏

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